I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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