i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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