You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
