My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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