You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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