oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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