i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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