Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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