is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
