Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
