He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
