Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
