my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
