she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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