garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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