the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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