Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
