Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
