Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
