...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
