i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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