now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You need Xanax blowdarts
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
