do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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