After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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