i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
