yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
