I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
