I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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