I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
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He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
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I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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