Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
