i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
it's like heaven, but drunker
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
