sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
