Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Randomize