I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
