i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich