Texts From Last Night

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  (443): View more from Maryland

  apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.

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  (443): apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar. http://tfl.nu/z209
  Replies (9) Good night (3015) Bad night (1000)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.

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  (757): Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing. http://tfl.nu/8x8y
  Replies (35) Good night (4835) Bad night (661)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.

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  (203): we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something. http://tfl.nu/yca0
  Replies (3) Good night (3014) Bad night (943)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.

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  (604): There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop. http://tfl.nu/phgu
  Replies (7) Good night (2773) Bad night (1280)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.

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  (770): She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking. http://tfl.nu/77kz
  Replies (9) Good night (3173) Bad night (798)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.

  (352): View more from Florida

  teach me your ways.

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  (770): he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it. (352): teach me your ways. http://tfl.nu/5pat
  Replies (6) Good night (3110) Bad night (957)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here

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  (850): Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here http://tfl.nu/668w
  Replies (9) Good night (763) Bad night (1724)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!

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  (563): Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW! http://tfl.nu/5pvv
  Replies (3) Good night (784) Bad night (1167)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.

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  (386): He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck. http://tfl.nu/cvbc
  Replies (7) Good night (2083) Bad night (688)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.

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  (417): She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night. http://tfl.nu/v9wx
  Replies (0) Good night (1215) Bad night (536)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams

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  (703): I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams http://tfl.nu/mq8g
  Replies (8) Good night (994) Bad night (640)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale

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  (978): It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale http://tfl.nu/xdvd
  Replies (8) Good night (1953) Bad night (477)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.

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  (865): I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE. (413): The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage. http://tfl.nu/j3o6
  Replies (3) Good night (757) Bad night (444)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal

  (425): View more from Washington

  Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.

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  (425): Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal (425): Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens. http://tfl.nu/rxfs
  Replies (0) Good night (685) Bad night (341)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling

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  (937): He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling http://tfl.nu/peso
  Replies (8) Good night (1023) Bad night (404)

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