Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade. http://tfl.nu/0707
  Replies (29) Good night (940) Bad night (4336)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest http://tfl.nu/7o2d
  Replies (40) Good night (956) Bad night (3318)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep. http://tfl.nu/xylt
  Replies (52) Good night (1587) Bad night (8097)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right? http://tfl.nu/n56d
  Replies (10) Good night (4495) Bad night (1625)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober" http://tfl.nu/vzc2
  Replies (6) Good night (4066) Bad night (821)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (917): Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes http://tfl.nu/vn7y
  Replies (16) Good night (999) Bad night (4457)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I feel like my teeth are sweating.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): I feel like my teeth are sweating. http://tfl.nu/98tq
  Replies (9) Good night (1153) Bad night (2102)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub http://tfl.nu/yova
  Replies (1) Good night (1770) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (601): You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin. http://tfl.nu/p6zj
  Replies (7) Good night (1502) Bad night (1730)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is. http://tfl.nu/p0ib
  Replies (15) Good night (2690) Bad night (979)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins. http://tfl.nu/devk
  Replies (11) Good night (2173) Bad night (561)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch http://tfl.nu/5u8w
  Replies (7) Good night (589) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon? http://tfl.nu/3p6a
  Replies (2) Good night (2297) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (226): View more from Ontario

  He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (226): He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys http://tfl.nu/z52q
  Replies (1) Good night (550) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  you are like the bill nye of illicit activities

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): you are like the bill nye of illicit activities http://tfl.nu/fr89
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (256)

Randomize