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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I think i peed on brittanys purse

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'

  Fav 249 68514 3872

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (619): View more from California

  on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.

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• (678): View more from Georgia

  He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...

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