don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.