gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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