we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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