im about as happy as oj after his trial
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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