me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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