So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
