so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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