roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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