3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Fuck appropriateness.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
