you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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