Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
