Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
