THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
God, I missed his penis.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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