8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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