Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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