Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
