I hope mine doesn't look like that
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
