she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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