Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
