People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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