I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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