So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
