just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
